


Fluid

by TheatrePhantom



Series: Human Zim [5]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Confusion, Discovery, Gen, Gender Confusion, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria Mentioned, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Human Zim (Invader Zim), Research, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatrePhantom/pseuds/TheatrePhantom
Summary: Zim has some difficulties with labels.
Series: Human Zim [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855570
Comments: 12
Kudos: 36





	Fluid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stup1d_K4m](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stup1d_K4m/gifts).



Zim had always had a bit of a complicated relationship with the concept of gender. It wasn't that he didn't  _ understand _ gender, but… he  _ really  _ didn't understand it. 

Of course, there were the stereotypes and societal pressures for each gender- all of which confused Zim to some degree. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend why it was okay for women to wear pants, but not for men to wear dresses, or why women received such different treatment about pretty much  _ everything _ . What would be impressive coming from a guy could be terrible coming from a woman. Completely different things were expected of them, for some strange, unfathomable reason. Beyond that, people outside of the gender binary were frequently just grouped in with men and were expected to exhibit the same traits that men were. It completely confused Zim and made absolutely no sense to him. 

That wasn’t what bothered him, though- or, at least, that wasn’t what was  _ currently _ bothering Zim. 

It wasn’t as though Zim was confused about  _ everything _ regarding gender. He understood the concept of it. People were born with specific parts that dictated their gender to society, but some people’s brains developed to be a different gender than their body was. He understood that some people were comfortable with the gender assigned to them at birth while others felt more comfortable with another one. He understood some basic things about gender dysphoria and how being transgender worked versus how being gender non-conforming worked. There were a lot of things that he had learned about gender that made sense to him- that he just  _ got _ . 

Still, there were many things that he just…  _ didn’t _ get. 

For instance, his  _ own _ gender identity was incredibly confusing to him. 

Zim knew the difference between being transgender and being gender non-conforming, but that didn’t make it easier for him to see which he was- if either. 

The concept of being gender non-conforming wasn’t a complex one. It was just the idea of a person breaking the stereotypes associated with their gender in one way or another. In a lot of ways, that seemed to fit with what Zim was. He had no problems with wearing clothes that were considered more feminine. He enjoyed makeup and painted nails, on occasion, and there were  _ definitely _ stereotypes associated with masculinity that he didn’t hit. 

Still, that didn’t seem entirely accurate to him. 

The idea of being transgender himself didn’t seem to completely make sense, either, though. While there definitely  _ were _ days where he experienced gender dysphoria in one way or another- be it not feeling completely comfortable with the pronouns people used for Zim, or different aspects of his body- but it wasn’t daily. He knew that transgender people didn’t necessarily spend their entire lives suffering intensely from overwhelming gender dysphoria, but that wasn’t exactly what was going on with him. It was more like he felt dysphoria on some days while feeling completely at peace with his body and identity as a male. 

So if he wasn’t exactly transgender and he wasn’t exactly gender non-conforming, then what  _ was _ he?

Perhaps he was thinking too deeply about the two concepts. It was completely plausible that he  _ did _ fit under one of those terms without completely realizing it, yet.

Maybe it had to do with him being intersex. While Zim had been assigned male at birth, he was still intersex and he knew that there were differences with his genetic makeup that could go into what he was feeling. 

That didn’t completely make sense to him, either, though. Zim had never heard stories about intersex people experiencing the same or similar feelings about gender as he was. He had only heard stories about intersex people identifying with one specific gender- not feeling a strange combination of identity with multiple ones (although, admittedly, he hadn’t heard  _ many _ stories about intersex people and all intersex people had different experiences). 

It was just all so confusing to Zim. Nothing seemed to completely make sense to him. Whether he was feeling completely comfortable with his assigned gender or another gender was something that changed nearly daily and never seemed to have any rhyme or reason behind it. Zim was never able to predict how he would feel at a given time. The levels of comfort with his gender fluctuated in a way that didn’t completely fit the narrative of any story he had heard in the past. 

Zim’s feelings didn’t correspond completely to being a transgender woman, nor a gender non-conforming person. What he was experiencing didn’t seem to make sense with any of the information he had. It felt like he had several puzzles complete, spelling out a story, and one  _ final _ piece that just… didn’t fit anywhere. Without it,  _ his _ story was incomplete. 

He didn’t understand. 

But then, he found a new term.

“Gender-fluid: someone who does not have a fixed gender or someone’s whose gender changes over time.” 

Immediately, it made a lot of sense to him! It completely explained why he felt different from day-to-day- why some days he felt completely comfortable with being perceived and referred to as a male while it bothered him greatly on other days. It explained why his level of comfort with different articles of clothing and pronouns changed. It explained to him why neither term he had discovered in the past had fit for him perfectly. 

For the first time since he had started to think about gender and how it impacted him, Zim completely understood what it was that he was feeling. He knew what his label was, and, despite all of the difficulty that could potentially come with it, Zim was  _ proud  _ to wear their colours. 

They were proud to be gender-fluid.

**Author's Note:**

> Not as long as I would have liked, but I still thought it would be important (and fun) to include some stuff about Zim discovering his gender. :)


End file.
